


True Intentions

by christallic



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-02-04
Packaged: 2018-05-18 06:01:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5901052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/christallic/pseuds/christallic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eretria tells Amberle how it all went down, her true intentions ~ Set at the end of 1x06</p>
            </blockquote>





	True Intentions

**Author's Note:**

> Eretria would never talk openly about these things, but i thought it would be interesting to look behind her actions and explore her feelings a little bit. Part of it is true, part of it is made up, i don't know i went with it so don't take it too seriously :)
> 
> I don't know if anyone is interested in this fanfic, but I left out a couple of things to make it readable and not too long. I hope you still like it :)
> 
> Princes Rover fanmix http://8tracks.com/c33/princess-rover

The Team is still on their journey, far far away from home. Even though they lost a few people they are still going.They found a save place to stay, well at least it is save for now. As the little girl showed them the only path to go, they start to debate. They have to go, but it is really dangerous. Well they figured this quest wouldn't be easy but they have been through so much in so little time. You can't see anything else but darkness surounding the path, or more like a beginning to another deadly part of their quest. Everybody is preoccupied in the discussion, so nobody really notices when Eretria pokes Amberle into the side and whispers to her "I need to talk to you for a second " she points her head into a direction away from the group "... in private." Amberle doesn't really know where this is going but she agrees. They disappear in one of the many rooms that were build up here in the mountain.

A big metal door shuts behind them,they are in private now. No chance on anyone eavesdropping, because Eretria doesn't want anybody to hear what she is about to tell. She feels like there is a knot in her throat. Amberle is looking at her with a questioning expression on her face. Eretria swallows hard and beginns.

"This quest is already harder than i thought it would be, so i have to be honest. This is not going to be easy for me, so just listen." she takes a deep breath and continues " When i was hanging from the roof, hearing you scream in pain and getting tortured. I felt a lot of things but mostly anger." she clenches her teeth"If he wouldn't have been dead already, I would have slit his throat. And i am not a fan of killing people. That's that." 

Amberle is confused, she didn't expect her to care. She didn't even believe Eretria was able to have feelings. When she is pulled out of her thoughts by Eretrias voice " Let me start at the beginning of everything." she adjusts her thoughts then keeps going " I never really cared about people. People kept making my life worse." she laughs bitter looking at the ground "if you could call that life ... I was sold to horrible people when i was really young. I was treated like shit and my life was always on the line. I woke up to the thought of not being quite sure if i will make it till night time still being alive. I had nothing but myself, nothing to lose you could say. The only thought that kept me going was that maybe someday i will make it and finally be free. Own my body and my voice, just like everybody else does." Amberle can hear the pain in her voice, she feels pressure lying heavy on her chest.

She is pulled back into reality when her eyes meet Amberle. She feels her heart beating faster, her body getting warmer. She shakes her head slightly to proceed with her speech while Amberle can't really take her eyes off Eretria " I didn't have high expectations of life, i still don't actually. But i got dragged down a dirty road, doing things i am definitely not proud of. Just to survive you know?" She looks at Amberle, who is slowly nodding with every word she says.

Eretria softly smiles "Then someday, not that far behind, i could finally proof my worth." her smile slowly fading "Exploring unknown lands ... I always stole something along the way, using my body and my pretty smile to get what i want, thinking i could keep it. But ending up getting it taken away from me everytime, because i wasn't allowed to own anything. Just hoping it was enough to not get me married off to some disgusting old man, who would treat me worse than anyone else before."

She swallows her feelings and continues, Amberle can see it is not easy for her at all " You know i saved Wil's life and robbed him blind. And then ..." She stops for a second, shaking her head with a growing smile on her face "... I met you." Amberle starts to smile, remembering their first meet up." I could have killed you, with that first throw. But i decided a warning would be enough ... Next one goes straight through your heart ... what an irony, keeping in mind that through out the journey i wanted to get through to your heart so bad. " she forces a laugh,hearing it out loud hurts more than it should have.

Amberle is touched but tries to keep a straight face when Eretria continues " Anyway i **hated** elves." The princess can't help but smirk because she used past tense. " You must have had an easy life compared to mine. I envied that about you, you had everything i ever wanted." - Freedom- she thinks but doesn't say it out loud "And that made me hate you even more. I had this picture of you, filling all the gaps i didn't see with made up information." she pauses looking into Amberles eyes and trying to tell her that she is sorry just by one look "I hated that picture of you" She chuckles a little when she goes on "I am glad, that picture doesn't really line up with reality here."

Eretria tries to be serious again, a defeated smile keeps lingering on her face " But honestly?" she pauses " I was impressed." Amberle's eyes widen, as she slowly raises an eyebrow "Yeah i know." Eretria shakes her head as she continues "But i didn't see an elven princess out in the woods everyday. Alone. Still alive. Not even a little scratch on you. I don't know how you did that which clearly impressed me because for me, there was only one way to survive and that was my way. You were a challenge for me and i am kind of glad you found me." she stops, both are forcing a smile, because they both feel it. They need each other. In this gigantic world they had to meet. They are chosen, they are meant to be together. And they both know it. That night, when they layed eyes on each other for the first time, they felt it, like a magnet pulling them closer and closer together. 

Eretria looks on the ground, to shy to do otherwise "I convinced Cephalo to give me my freedom." Amberle sees pain in Eretrias eyes, just as she closes them " And i was so close ... i brought you both back to our camp. We could have had a rematch, so that i could prove that i am not useless. But you were faster than me. And even though i kind of hated you, or the idea of you, i didn't want you to die. Not there, not by my hands. I am not a Killer you know?" she pauses, as she looks up to Amberle to seek approval, when she gets it by a nod from Amberle, she continues "And out of everyone there, when the fury came, you saved my life. You could have let me die, right there but you didn't. And even though you hated me, you didn't hesitate." She stops for a second and swallows, looking into Amberles eyes " I don't know why you did it but somehow you thought my life was worth saving."

A tear creeps up in her left eye but she manages to wipe it away before it falls "And sooner or later i found myself, risking my life again. Sneeking into the palace. And after getting caught i was pretty sure, i was going to die in that cell." she says with a sarcastic smile " but it got worse ... you literally forced me to come with you. On a journey i really didn't want to be a part of. I just wanted to get away from the Rovers, then i was stuck with you. After almost cutting my wrists open ... " she looks up at Amberle and sees an apologetic smile lying on her lips "the Rovers found us. I wasn't glad to see them, because i thought i was done with them. They should have just thought i died in that palace."

She needs a second to go on "And there you were, tucked to a tree, saying my name. I came over just so you could try to convince me to stay. I couldn't believe it, that you thought money would be a reason for me to stay ..." she looks at Amberle with a dissappointed look on her face " Actually, i never thought about accepting the offer. I just wanted to go, leave you far far behind. I didn't want to be a part of this drama from the beginning and a little money would definitely not change my mind. I was just about to tell you, that you can keep your money, when Cephalo interrupted." she shakes her head while thinking about it." I was ready to go, i didn't think i was ever supposed to be a part of this quest. But when i heard you scream and i turned around, seeing him touch you ..."

she pauses clenching her fists a little to hard, so that she looks down at her hands feeling the pain slowly getting stronger as she goes on " I couldn't stand the thought of him touching you like that. I decided to save you, when i turned around and rode into the woods. Being me, i tried to convince myself that i did it, because you saved my life, so i had to save yours. Or at least i knew how it felt like to ..." she stops, swallows hard, looking on the ground " You shouldn't have to go through that ... What he would have done to you." she tries to smile, which was harder than she thought it would be "Well, there i was ... sacrificing my freedom. The one thing i always wanted since forever to save **you**. I couldn't let you believe that i did it for you so i said it was for the money."

She takes a deep breath, forcing herself to look at Amberle so that she knows this is real "Usually i don't give a shit about people, because nobody ever cared about me for a change, so I never really had to. But since i am a part of this quest, i learned how it feels like to actually care about a person other than myself. I don't like to admit it, but it is the truth. And that is why we are here. Thinking about you getting tortured made me realize that i want to do everything i can to save you, to make sure you are alive. Believe it or not, but if i can save your life in any way i will not hesitate." Eretria watches her closely when she continues "You think why? Why would i do this? Because if you die, one way or another, i want you to know, that there are people who care about you. People who **love** you, who are going to **miss** you. But me? not so much. And if someone has to die, should be me right?"

Amberle starts slowly to shake her head, it gets more and more intense as she responds " No, you can't do this. We are in this together, remember?" Amberle looks at Eretria silently shaking her head, tears dripping down her face" If you sacrifice your life for me, i am going to **hate** you!" But Eretria is sure, she never has been so sure in her entire life. One sentence can't leave her mind at that moment

\- Love means Sacrifice -

This is not sad, she thinks. She finally knows what love feels like, putting someone else before yourself. She smiles more to herself than to Amberle when she responds "I didn't know what love felt like until i met you. And i remember someone once said to me that Love and Hate lie closer together than anything else. So close that lines become blurry and you are not quite sure anymore where hate ends and love beginns. It is never as it seems. But I know one thing for sure, that one of them cannot survive without the other."

**Author's Note:**

> Okay picture this :
> 
> Little Eretria going through the center of a village, people selling things everywhere. Everything is crowded and she just walks by, tears in her eyes as she stops and starts crying out loud. She got bruises all over her body. An old lady comes closer to her, gets on one knee and looks her straight in the eye when she asks " What happend? Why are you crying?". Eretria pulls herself together when she asks " Why does everyone hate me?". The old woman takes a few seconds to think about it then responds " You know, Love and Hate lie really close together, side by side." Eretria looks confused but keeps listening "Where Hate is there is also Love, hidden in places you don't dare to look. It's like light creeping through a window into a room filled with darkness. It is there, you just have to see and let it in. It is not always as it seems but there are people out there who love you. Everything will be okay" Eretria just nods, wiping her tears away. She didn't really understand but maybe someday she will.
> 
> My heart may or may not just broke by thinking about this, so i had to write it down :s


End file.
